The Search and the Find

Sathesh, one visitor to this blog has requested me to share more about my search and what is it that I have found. He is quoting from what I have written in 'About Me' and asks what I exactly mean by the Truth.Well. It is a long story. But yet it is also a very short story. Here I go then with the long and short of it. By nature of being born to parents who had certain ideas of upbringing, I learnt carnatic music - vocal and instrumental and shlokas and chanting in Tamil and Sanskrit.

I took to reading the books of Sri Aurobindo and The Mother in the 1990s. As Sri Aurobindo has said, when the mind is travelling on a single plane of existence, force of circumstances gives a jolt in some form or another. This jolt came in the form of an auto accident on August 15, 2000, Sri Aurobindo's birthday. A woman seated just next to me suffered grievous injuries while I just scraped my elbow and knee. Getting back to work after four days of leave, for the first time, I had this thought: Why was I spared in this accident. What is the purpose of my existence? It was this question that took me on a path of what is popularly known today as Yoga, Meditation and Spirituality. But even then, I did not go in search of truth, but I was just answering some call and saw myself being taken to all the places and people who were providing me with the answers. When I dithered or just forgot, someone would come to remind me or tell me what to do.

Truth of Existence is a difficult thing to explain. But all the music, all the Sanskrit or anything that I learnt by heart, began unfolding the deeper meanings to me. I now see the same roads, same polluting MTC buses, the same people, the same poverty or prosperity, the same clean or unclean roads, the same everything. But earlier, they were all different and I was different. Now the Truth is - I and Them, I and It, I and Him, I and Her are all one. The person who asks the question is me. The person who replies is me. My answer for Who Am I? will now be - Well, Nothing. If you don't like this answer, I will say, Well, then Everything. It makes no difference. posted by Swahilya at Sunday, July 10, 2005